Why Do We Kill Ourselves With Food? Evil Head Stuff!

I think this is a question we all ask at one time or another. Why DO we do it?

Most newbies firmly believe we eat this way because of a food addiction. I don't know, perhaps that is true. I think as a post op weight loss surgery patient when we come across times when we turn to food and we can no longer eat the way we used to it is a bit of a wake up call. Perhaps someone makes you very angry and you pull out that extra yummy something you pretend you forgot about in the freezer and you start munching. After your very few bites nothing more will fit in that ping pong ball size stomach you have as a newbie post op and you realize - you aren't done. You are not physically hungry, matter of fact you are pretty darn full but you want more food anyway. What's up with that?

Or maybe you are stressed, your boss screamed at you today and if anyone cared to know the truth your boss is a putz and does not have a clue what he is doing. You turn to food and guess what? You eat your few bites of food and you are too full to eat more but you want more anyway.

Some people deal with emotions by eating. At the time we are eating the scary fats and carbs we justify it:

~I had a REALLY bad day today and I just do not care!

~My boss is an idiot, everyone knows it but nobody does anything about it!

~I do not feel well, everyone knows you feed a cold - or do you?

~I am depressed, I deserve a little treat!

~I already screwed up today with carbs so I'll get back on track tomorrow. Since I already blew it for the day I might as well go for it! Where's the cake?

Do any of these sound familiar? It really is true that the hardest part of weight loss surgery is not the surgery, it is the head stuff that goes along with it. For the first time in your life you are forced by sheer nature of the beast to confront your food demons. When you reach for that scrumptious food item and cannot eat enough to fix whatever is wrong, your issues are staring you in the face. I think it is normal to have a little denial at first and you ignore the food monster staring at you and you keep searching the kitchen looking for something that will fit in your stomach but... nothing is there. Frustration sets in and you swear you are hungry even though one more bite of food and you will be hugging your porcelain friend.

It is this crazy insane cycle that has to happen a few times before we begin to really "get" it. You notice a pattern that cannot be denied anymore. You feel stress, you eat. You feel sadness, you eat. You feel anger, you eat. You feel boredom, you eat. Patterns, but no real answers. Right?

There are a number of self help books out there, some great and some not so great. Everyone has their own take on the fix for our issues. I found a book I like and I will tell you why. It doesn't tell you of the horrors of eating food animals, it does not use aversion therapy, it does not give you one fad diet after another promising a forever cure to the disease of obesity. This one is not a diet, not a promise of a quick fix but instead more of a cognitive therapy approach. It is a set of daily exercises (mental and written, not physical) for six weeks. She writes what I call positive affirmations but she calls it a change in the way you are thinking. She's the PhD so she is probably correct! The book is:

"The Beck Diet Solution Weight Loss Workbook"

She has two books, one is a workbook and one is not. I suggest the non-workbook for pre ops and the workbook version for post ops. You honestly do not need both. Oh, you can buy both of them but I think you will find you are wasting your money.

In this book she has you change negative thinking to positive thinking but more important (at least to me) is you end up learning why you do what you do. You have written exercises, you have daily schedules to complete, food logs, columns to compare, and thinking to do. Not only do you face your demons you learn new coping methods. You learn to face your own behaviors and find alternative ways to cope. Really, a big part of this whole thing is being honest with yourself when you are eating for emotion instead of eating for nourishment. When you are eating because you found a way to justify it instead of when you are eating because your body needs fuel.

A big shocker for many is to understand a few key points here.

We can feel hungry, we can feel satisfied, and we can feel full. We are always looking for that full feeling. Thanksgiving Day full, feels so miserably good. Right? Did you know naturally thin people do not want to have that full feeling? They are very content with satisfied, or not hungry. It is us, our population that wants to be in misery we are so full. And in an hour we will do it again! How crazy are we? Well, we aren't crazy. We have a disease and that disease is called obesity.

A really good place to order this book is:

www.ADDall.com >> used and out of print books >> insert author name "Beck" >> insert title

This site is great because it combines ebay, Amazon, and 20,000 private sellers and this book is listed all the time by many sellers so you get to pick your price. As of this morning the book version was $1.41 USD and the workbook version was $6.00 USD. They have US sellers, Canadian sellers, and European sellers. Pick your country and pick your price. Although the books are listed as used most of them are actually new.

Another book people seem to like however I have not read it is:

"Good Calories, Bad Calories" by Gary Taubes.

Go to Amazon.com and read a few pages of each book and see what hits home for you.

Now, there is another reason some people eat the way we do and this is my own personal demon. OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It is really the only area OCD seems to affect me, food. When I am stressed or frustrated I absolutely obsess over food. I think about it non stop and while I am eating I think about what I can eat when there is room in my banana sized stomach. I do not experience this all the time, just stages. I can go for weeks and it does not seem to kick in and all the sudden it is there full force. I look up recipes, I look at menus for various restaurants on line, I go to Recipekey.com where I can put ingredients I already have in my kitchen and it will give me recipes where I do not have to go to the store.

This is when I start taking Effexor. I am supposed to take it all the time and I do not. I take it for a couple of weeks here and there. This is what works for me. It kills my head hunger. My stomach rarely feels hungry due to the surgery type I have but my head goes through stages where it insists my stomach wants food.

I am very sure that I am not the only one out there that obsesses over food. I have talked to so many people that have the same issues and if it is indeed OCD, the medications can work quite well. If you feel this is your issue as well I suggest you talk to your doctor. Some are willing to let you try pharmaceuticals and some are not. Just find what is right for you and go for it!